QForPhill

Phill! I have an emergency. It’s mother nature, and you know what that means, but there’s a problem. I don’t have any feminine products. What can I do till I go to the store to get more?

Please help me! -Aunt Flow

Well, this should be very interesting. I have never personally had this problem, but I’m sure I could figure something out for you. I should warn you, these might not medically be safe, so take warning.

I would first try to just grab a bunch of tissues and make a lining of protection in your panteloins. Just stuff them like a compensating highschool wrestler. If anything should happen, you will save your pants and hopefully some embarassment.

If you are feeling creative, you could try rubberbanding or taping a bunch of q-tips together to make a makeshift tampon. It might not be that absorbant or comfortable, but it could be better than nothing.

You could, if you don’t want to try these ideas, just call a friend to go get you some. I’m sure they would understand.

I hope these tips help, and remember, I’m not sure how sanitary it is, so check with your doctor first.

 IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS… or comments, leave me a comment in my comment box, or email me at modiebo@gmail.com

Dear Phill,

                I went home for the weekend and when I got back I found out that my roommate had taken a large amount of exlax as well as eaten a lot of Panda and then spent the entire weekend shitting all over the room. The room is basically covered in shit. No joke. There’s a huge dookie on the TV screen. What should I do?

                Sincerely,

                                Kearakissvargesgaragen (Keer-a-kiss-varg-es-gar-gen)

Why is it that only crazy, demented people bother to ask me questions? I swear. These are the kind of questions I have been having to put up with since no one wants to bother commenting me or asking me questions. If I don’t get some legit questions soon, I’m going to change this blog and start talking about how horrible and stressful life is being alive or whatever. I’ll add one more pointless blog about life that you will have to skip over in order to find something interesting. I’ll do it, i swear

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! someone ask me some real questions, or funny ones, I’m not picky. I just don’t want to have to put up with all these stupid questions anymore. Ask me questions in my comment box or at modiebo@gmail.com

Hey sweetie pie!
This is Charly from Oaklahoma, Texas! Home of the Oaklahoma fish sticks!! YEEHAWW!!
eeniewayz, i had a quick question dahling….
i was just wondering what i’m supposed to do with the frozen mashed potatoes in my freeezer. I just remembered that i left them there from last thanksgiving cuz dey were SOOOO good and i just LOVE mashed potatoes, and i wanted to save them forever! but now that they are frozen, i dont know waht the heck im supposed to do with them…. I can’t eat them this cold and all icy….
Well thanks a lot sweeetie!!
<3 Charly from Oaklahoma, Texas!

Dear Charly, Just throw the f@&*ing mashed potatoes away. Make some new ones, and eat those.

Thanks honey,

PW