QForPhill

Dear Phill,

            I have a problem with my  room mate beating off every chance he gets. Any time I leave the room, I’m scared to come back. My room also wreaks of lotion and it’s embarrassing. What can I do to stop this?

              - Anonymous

 Well, this is an interesting problem. I’m sure a lot of people share this same problem, or a similar one. Though I have personally never had to deal with this, I have a few suggestions that I think may do the trick.

First, try just talking to the guy. It may be really awkward, but if it’s bothering you enough that you don’t want to come back to your room, then there’s a problem. You can also try talking to your RA if you live in a dorm to work out a “Masturbation Schedule,” or something like that.

Second, you can try to get him (I’m assuming it’s a guy) laid. Maybe he’s just lonely or needs to let out some of his frustrations. But with this step, there is always the possibility that he will then constantly bring the chick back, and then you have a whole new problem.

And third, if all else fails, mix some Ben Gay in his lotion bottle. I will guarantee you that he will not masturbate for at least a couple days. He may even associate masturbating with the burning sensation of his junk, and not do it anymore, who knows?

I hope that these suggestions help you out and you will be able to come back to your room worry free.

-P.W.

 IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS… that need to be answered or you just want to say hello, leave me a comment or email me at Modiebo@gmail.com

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